Infidelity Can Be a New Beginning, Not an Ending, Part 1

August 2nd, 2016

Marriage is hard. Most of us are not prepared for what it asks.  Full of potential and hope, and dangerously frail, a relationship is often ill equipped for the challenges before it – vulnerable to being damaged, sometimes, beyond repair. Infidelity destroyed our marriage.  Love, which we were surprised by, healed us and created a […]


What Love Is – Part 2

June 23rd, 2016

Real relationships compete unsuccessfully for the illusion affair relationships deliver – the anticipation that one’s deep longings for contact, wholeness, completeness and soulfulness are met. The affair promises to transcend and annihilate the mundane status quo of so many of our marital arrangements. Nothing could be further from the truth. First, however, you must distinguish between the fantasy of an affair versus the potential intimacy in a committed relationship.


What Love Is, Part 1

June 3rd, 2016

The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of.
– Pascal

Love. What is it really?

“Love”, within infidelity, isn’t. Love in this context is an interpretation. It is an encounter between a person – the object of desire – and an experience – the passion of eros. It can leave one intoxicated with emotion that drives both decisions and behaviors in often inalterable ways. The result of this fusion is one of the most destructive mistakes a human can make. The Fundamental Attribution Error is when you confuse an experience with a person who just happens to be a part of the encounter. You believe you MUST have that person in order to have that experience.


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