In life, you can complain or you can create. Our greatest freedom is to choose which of these will get our time and energy.
One leaves you victimized by the events and circumstances of life, the other allows you to be instructed by the wisdom in every failure.
Recovery from infidelity is no different than any serious life challenge. Contained within its experience is both pain and opportunity.
We chose to leverage the opportunity by accepting responsibility for how we failed one another by making everything else in life a priority except the core of what brought us together – our friendship; we together decided to evolve as individuals first, by learning how early wounds set us up to fail in love, and then, acquired the art and science for how to love more profoundly.
Sometimes your barn has to burn to the ground to see the moon. Quite by surprise, following the devastation of an affair and divorce, we discovered the best part of who we were in our failed marriage. By using the pain of our failures as sober motivation, we made the necessary changes required of us to design the relationship of our dreams.
Instead of blame we chose grace.
Rather than vindictiveness, we loved from compassion for how we hurt one another. Instead of being self-righteous and “right” about our story of the other, we got curious about how who we were in the old marriage contributed to it failing. And rather than hiding in resentment, we embraced forgiveness as a pathway for a new future. Beneath the ashes of our burnt lives within the debris of divorce the seed of a deeper, more mature love never before experienced was birthed.
We found life-altering love and true fulfillment in our marriage after an affair and divorce. By working through the pain and committing ourselves to both healing and designing a new relationship, we found the secrets to a stronger, more satisfying marriage
Our book, Surprised by Love, is to inspire you with hope and possibility for all that is possible in love and marriage even when it fails. We are living proof that there is still hope for an extraordinary marriage even after an affair.
We were both Surprised By Love.
What are you waiting for?