The Curriculum for Affair Recovery ®
Phase I: “Creating Possibility”
Our introductory program, “Creating Possibility” tells our story and assists couples in understanding the reasons why infidelity happens, the normal reactions to it, and outlines our program of hope and recovery while providing you with the fundamental skills couples need to begin the healing and recovery process.
Phase one of the “Curriculum for Affair Recovery” will help you regain control from the trauma of discovering an affair, provide a context for how to heal from it and equip you with essential skills, tools and strategies to establish a healthy road map for your recovery.
The Results You Can Expect:
In this 3 1/2-day Transformational Seminar you will:
- Hear our story of hope and possibility for relationship redesign.
- Learn what the “Healing Tasks Model” is and where you are within it.
- Understand how to overcome the psycho-emotional impact of infidelity on the betrayed and unfaithful partner.
- Master 10 powerful techniques for how to “not” further damage your relationship.
- Identify and be coached in the steps that must be taken to end the affair and restore integrity to your relationship.
- Be coached in a proven model for how to communicate about the affair, its impact and beyond.
- Assess the soundness of your “Relationship House” and learn the skills needed to repair it.
- Design a “Contract for Healing” that structures the choice and accountabilities for your recovery.
- Understand and appreciate the context for how the affair happened and design a plan for preventing it in the future.
- Manage and take control of the emotional terrain of affair recovery by learning how to cope with trauma reactions (anger, hurt, betrayal, resentment, and outrage), affair triggers, flooding, and obsessive intrusive thoughts.
- Learn scientifically proven methods for redesigning your “Relationship House”.
- Practice and be coached in conflict management tools to empower you to communicate clearly about the affair.
- Design a ‘self care plan’ to ensure you remain healthy and grounded through the recovery process.
- Make an authentic “Amends and Apology” by accepting full responsibility for the affair.
- Begin the Healing Tasks necessary to restore trust, repair intimacy.
Phase II: “Transformation & Breakthrough”
Building on the foundation of Phase I, “Creating Possibility”, this program takes couples through significant breakthroughs in their ability to communicate about and beyond the affair. In “Transformation & Breakthrough” we take you from breakdowns to powerful breakthroughs in your ability to relate, communicate, step into compassion and choose forgiveness with the past and design the structures needed to create lasting love and fulfillment in your new relationship.
You will learn advanced skills in putting closure on the affair experience, create the distinction of authentic forgiveness, confront obstacles to intimacy and restoring trust, and design the foundation of a ‘Sound Relationship House’ that opens the possibility for true love and intimacy as a couple.
The Results You Can Expect:
In this 3 1/2-day Intensive Program you will:
- Learn the tools needed to put closure on the affair experience as an event in your past and rewrite a new relationship story.
- Successfully deal with unfinished business in your relationship and the affair.
- Apply a breakthrough strategy for all incomplete communication and lingering unresolved issues.
- Be coached in how to have “Fierce Dialogues” and powerful conversations by using our advanced communication technology.
- Learn what forgiveness is and is not, why it’s essential for moving beyond the affair, and how to cultivate “authentic forgiveness” grounded in true love and real compassion for one another.
- Understand what the latest research tells us about creating a healthy marriage and lasting relationship and apply that knowledge to your new relationship of the future – “The Sound Relationship House” model.
- Be coached in a breakthrough technology for how to design trust and create the possibility for a new level of intimacy in your relationship.
- Distinguish the meaning of “Intimacy” and “Love” as a practice, not a concept, and design a relationship where ‘soul mates’ are possible.
- Design a “Relationship Design Map” for your post-affair relationship and together design a life that honors your core values, guiding principles and new relationship vision as a couple.
The “Advanced Course” Programs
You are the expert on your relationship!
And only you know what your relationship needs for it to thrive. The “Advanced Course” Programs of The Curriculum for Affair Recovery gives you a seminar and marriage enrichment menu of empowerment based programs carefully designed to accelerate your individual and relationship development post-affair and beyond. In fact, many couples choose our programs as “well visits” to invest in enhancing an already strong relationship and increasing marital satisfaction.
Especially designed for couples who have successfully completed Phases I and II of the Curriculum, the “Advanced Course” Programs allow freedom of choice and flexibility to customize where you invest your time and resources in the healing and evolution of your relationship.
Admission to the “Advanced Course” Curriculum is limited due to the intensity of the experience. The requirement to participate is to successfully complete Phases I and II of the Curriculum for Affair Recovery and/or a similar experience that can be verified by our team.
Each of the “Advanced Course” programs are custom designed for the unique needs of the participating couples and are a two 1/2-day intensive format including skill training, focused coaching, and group facilitation, led by Dr. Jay and/or Julie Kent-Ferraro.
AV I: “Passion, Intimacy and Magic”
“Passion, Intimacy and Magic” begins with the assumption “soul-mates are created, not found” and empowers couples with tools to begin the journey of creating lasting love. In this unique seminar, we support you and your partner through a radical shift from “survival” to “magic”. In this seminar, couples will explore the possibilities of deep intimacy, revitalize their passion, and create a context of full emotional discovery as they acquire new skills and experiment with applying them to their relationship.
AV II: “Authentic Forgiveness: Letting Go and Moving Beyond”
“Forgiveness: Letting Go and Moving Beyond” is designed to support a powerful breakthrough by designing “authentic forgiveness” built upon new understanding, deep love and an experience of real compassion for one another. Together we will distinguish what facilitates ‘the’ shift away from the shame and guilt that often interferes with redesigning a new relationship beyond the affair. Forgiveness IS a choice but not one most of us are equipped to make. In this Advanced Course program, couples will be guided through our unique “Forgiveness Process” for giving and receiving forgiveness, opening the possibility for breakthroughs in trust, intimacy and lasting love. This program is applicable to a variety of marital challenges from infidelity to addiction and other “intimacy betrayals”.
AV III: “Restoring Trust for a Life Time”
“Restoring Trust for a Life Time” coaches post-affair couples (and other betrayal wounds in marriage) in how to restore trust and move toward necessary risks, self-expressiveness, transparency and trust. We begin by distinguishing trust as a structure to be created, not waited for, through accountability, changed behavior over time, and taking “prudent risks” with each other inside of new agreements. Trust, understood in this way, is an active process grounded in choice and integrity that each couple is in control over by both honoring one’s own inner wisdom as the ultimate source of safety and living within committed agreements to restore the certainty and honor of the relationship.
AV IV: “Advanced Communication for Powerful Relationships”
“Advanced Communication for Powerful Relationships” will give couples access to the “Fierce Dialogue” methodology of communication, which brings your conversations to an unprecedented level of focus and self-disclosure. Fierce Dialogue™ is a principle-centered approach to meaningful conversations designed to build your relationship while delivering resolution and results to ongoing issues you face as a couple. Armed with these techniques, post-affair couples can quickly address breakdowns, manage conflict effectively, enhance intimacy and make peace with the past while designing a future that meets both people’s needs today.